Recent Decisions

I am still not feeling the elation that some new mothers feel, so instead of being Debbie Downer, I'll share my recent decisions and events. I've stopped trying to breastfeed every day, Niles got frustrated, and I cried. If we happen to try once a week, than more power to us! I'm still pumping, and Niles eats from my milk for the most part. Once every other day or so we have to supplement formula because I am unable to produce quite enough. We have made the decision that I will do this through September 14th, this will be six weeks, and from all that I have read, babies reap the most benefits from mom's milk during this time period. Am I sad about this? Yes. Can I keep my sanity and continue to pump after the 14th? Probably not, and I realize my sadness, depression, insanity (whatever you want to call it) ultimately effects Ni Ni too, and I definitely don't want that. Am I enjoying any part of motherhood? Yes, I do love the sweet, innocent little sounds that he makes while eating, I love that he knows my voice, and that it calms him down when he works himself into a tizzy, and I do love when his bottom lip and chin quiver, he may not like it, but its so cute!

I go back to work over labor day, our first wedding of September. I wish I could do it all, but pumping will only allow me to do so much. I'm taking Matt and the baby with me, we got a hotel room for the weekend in Grand Rapids (since that is where the wedding is located) and I'll pump in between decorating and set up. Not ideal, but we'll make it through the next few weeks, we just have to!

Niles loves to sleep with his arms above his head, or at least one arm in the "high five" pose. Matt also gave him his first big boy bath, he is not sure what to think of it, but again, it looks like he is trying to "high five" someone!